I have worked with many clients who have experienced depression in their lives. Experiencing depression can be a lonely and frightening place to be. Depression can be confused with sadness, unhappiness and despondency. It can be mistaken for diappointment. I would want to explore your feelings of depression with you, to find out what exactly you are experiencing, what feeling depressed is like for you, so that I can be alongside you and support you in finding your way through depression. Feelings of depressions can be a signal or symptom that something needs attention, that depression is not our identity. Depression can affect our imagination and creativity, it can feel as if our depression is embedded in us, disempowering us and making us feel hopeless and helpless. Despite being in the company of others, we can feel alone, isolated or trapped behind a glass wall. Hope can seem far away and we may have difficulties concentrating or making decisions. Fear, guilt and despair can be familiar companions, causing us to dwell on unhelpful thoughts. Anger and depression can also be connected: we may suffer from repressed anger about an injustice that we feel happened in our life. In this case the counselling and therapy may have to help you to get back in touch with feelings of anger and to acknowledge them, so that the depression may lift. Counselling and psychotherapy can help us find more empowering ways forward in our inner and outer lives.
We may believe that we should always be happy, rather than struggle to come to terms with accepting suffering as part of the human condition. We may put ourselves under pressure to always be happy, especially if we believe that we should be perfectly happy.
Some people continue to focus on the wrong things, which continue to make them unhappy. Learning to be more in touch with ourselves, getting to know ourselves better in the counselling and psychotherapy process can help us to find out what is important to us and beginning to do more of what feels natural and right can support our happiness or contentment. We may find that we tend to defer our happiness, waiting for the right moment, which never seems to arrive, so that we can never give ourselves permission to just be happy, moment by moment, thus being at ease with who we are, comfortable in our own skin. We may have restricting beliefs that happiness is about what we have, rather than what we are, that happiness is a destination, rather than a journey.
We may be experiencing sadness, which is not the same as depression; we may be sad when we are not feeling in charge of our own life; it can be a symptom that we need to complete processing painful events from our past, so that our vitality can be available in the present. That may have something to do with loss, grief and bereavement – unresolved grief.
The following is a list of some common symptoms of depression. It is unusual to have them all, but several usually may develop..
- Frequent or persistent low mood. Things often seem ‘black’..
- Apathy, loss of enjoyment and interest in life, even for things you used to enjoy..
- Deep sadness, sometimes with weepiness..
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, uselessness, hopelessness and helplessness..
- Poor motivation. Even simple tasks seem difficult..
- Poor concentration..
- Sleeping problems, insomnia or early waking..
- Lacking in energy, often tired..
- Difficulty with affection, including going off sex..
- Poor appetite and weight loss. Sometimes the reverse happens with ‘comfort eating’ and subsequent weight gain.
- Feelings of constant irritability, agitation, or restlessness..
- Symptoms sometimes seem worse in the. morning..
- Recurrent thoughts of death. This is not usually a fear of death, but a preoccupation with death and dying. Some people get suicidal ideas such as “life’s not worth living”..
Depression can be triggered by traumatic and stressful changes in your life. Examples include financial worries or the loss or break-up of a relationship, redundancy or starting a new job. Life changes and life transitions can all be followed by depression..
Depression is a complicated state of mind, with many different symptoms and causes which are unique to each individual. It can particularly affect people with low self-esteem, little confidence and negative thought patterns. They then quickly feel overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. Some people struggle with a negative self-concept and a perceived lack of self-efficacy. They may find it difficult to believe that they can influence events or achieve personal goals. During counseling and psychotherapy, it may be helpful to question and alter these negative thoughts, beliefs and behaviour patterns. This may perhaps begin to restore a healthier self-image and help to establish a new sense of potency and agency in life..
Sometimes depression can be due to unresolved grief over the loss of a loved one. Sometimes it can be due to the loss of another kind, like the loss of a previous way of life, status or health. Working through this kind of grief during counseling or psychotherapy can help a person to come to terms with a different life situation. This may lift the depression and enable the client to move on into the future..
In other cases, depression may be more deeply rooted in difficult and stressful childhood experiences like loss, neglect or abuse. Traumatic feelings may have been hidden and locked away. This can then leave a person with a sense of hopelessness, helplessness, futility or meaninglessness. In such cases the approach in counseling or psychotherapy is often in-depth, and needs to be gentle and slow and at a pace the client is comfortable with..
